If you want happier, zero conflict relationships with your boss, husband, wife, boyfriend, girlfriend and colleagues you need to first become more self-aware.
Science is now able to demonstrate that regular meditation, especially meditation which helps us become aware of negative learned behaviour, and gives us an approach to become better at noticing negative habits; how we react to situations, what we say, and how our bodies behave, has a powerful, positive impact on our mental and physical health. But, it doesn’t stop there, how you treat others will also change, creating a positive knock-on effect enjoyed by family, friends and work colleagues.
Although meditation has become more acceptable of late, many people still frown at these so called new-age* techniques. If you have doubts, I suggest you simply choose a negative emotion you’d like less of in your life, for example: Anger.
*ironically archaeologists state that meditation dates back 7,000 years.
Renowned health author Daniel Reid wrote about the dangers of anger back in 1989 and states: Anger damages the liver, which in turn renders one prone to even more anger, thereby establishing and self-perpetuating cycle of destructive emotional energy.
Once you have chosen the negative emotion you want less of in your life:
- Run through some scenarios that have made you angry in the past and ask yourself “was being angry with this situation, or person worth damaging your health for?”
- Imagine how much better your life would be if you were able to catch yourself becoming angry, and intercept that emotion before it takes hold, by thinking of a kinder, more loving way to deal with the situation and therefore protecting yourself, triggering more kindness and love in others.
- Lower your expectations. Anger can often be the result of feeling disappointed and yet you can only be disappointed if you have expectations, by removing any expectations you will find you can live a more stress free life.
From personal experience, these techniques don’t always work, so when the negative emotion (fear, anger etc) takes over and after you have reacted the way you have taught your brain to do so for years, take a moment to analyse what happened and ask yourself: “Could I have avoided this emotion, could I have used different words, a different tone, and would this have created a different outcome?”. This process of self-awareness is the only way you will be able to start to understand yourself, and by doing so program new, healthier responses in your life!